I really loved reading this, Kathy! My husband and I were talking about it afterward, about how tough it is as a parent when you have a child who is the same gender as you. There's so much pressure to be a role model and some fears about not being enough! We know deep down that we have to lean on Christ in our weakness and insufficiency, but that doesn't make it easy!
Thank you so much, Kelly! The pressure of being a role model, especially to a same-gender child, resonates deeply. There’s something uniquely refining about it, isn’t there? It exposes all those hidden fears of not being enough, while at the same time gently (or sometimes not-so-gently) pushing us back into the arms of Christ. Your encouragement means more than you know. I’m grateful to be walking this path of parenthood and faith alongside brave moms like you 🙏🏼
This is so beautiful, Kathy! I'm not a mother, but the ache for the freedom and joy of childhood is something I've been thinking about recently. Thank you for writing this!
Thank you so much Rachael! That longing for childlike freedom and joy feels so deeply innate. It’s amazing how God placed it in us to remind us of what (and who) we were made for. I’m glad it resonated with you!
Thank you for beautifully sharing from your heart, Kathy. I too have something ignited in me being a mother of girls now, that has just felt so different after I had boys.
It means a lot to know this resonated with you, Brianna! I’ve always longed for a daughter, but I’ll admit when I found out I was having one, I was overwhelmed with fear more than anything. I knew deep down the weight it would carry, the tender places it would stir in me, and the responsibility of shaping a little girl in this broken world would bring. Praise God she is already reminding me that beauty and bravery can coexist, and I’m trying to receive that gift with open hands 🤲🏼
Kathy what vulnerable words you share about motherhood and what is brings up in your heart. Your words have ministered deeply to my soul tonight, thank you.
That's a lovely, real and honest letter. I had a similar experience with my eldest daughter when she was about 3... And possibly all the way until she was 8! (But not constant - there were ups and downs.) One unexpected thing I found that helped was writing her letters too. I had a spare notebook, so I wrote little letters to her, with the idea that I would give her the book when she's 18. So obviously it's not completely open about my feelings, but I focused more on telling her what ways she was wonderful, and a blessing, and a gift from God to her family and our friends. It didn't fix it all, but it helped a lot.
At one point I remember really having to choose to actively love her - in the ways that are her love language but not mine: physical affection and words of affirmation. And that was like a switch - within a short time we were far closer than we'd ever been. But that's how God answered that prayer, so I can't say it's a formula!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with your daughter, Robyn! It brings me so much comfort to know that the “closeness” we long for with our children doesn’t always come naturally, and that’s okay. What a beautiful act of surrender to take those emotions to prayer and to the page. I can only imagine what a treasure that notebook will be to her one day and what a healing gift it’s already been to you both.
Your words about actively choosing to love her in the ways she receives it best really struck me. It’s such a powerful reminder that love often asks more of us than just emotion alone and I’m realizing that it’s a choice I have to make daily, too. Like you said, it’s not a formula, but a posture, and that posture of prayer really can work wonders. Thank you again for your wisdom and encouragement. It means more than you know!
I really loved reading this, Kathy! My husband and I were talking about it afterward, about how tough it is as a parent when you have a child who is the same gender as you. There's so much pressure to be a role model and some fears about not being enough! We know deep down that we have to lean on Christ in our weakness and insufficiency, but that doesn't make it easy!
FWIW, I think Olive has a pretty brave Mom.
Thank you so much, Kelly! The pressure of being a role model, especially to a same-gender child, resonates deeply. There’s something uniquely refining about it, isn’t there? It exposes all those hidden fears of not being enough, while at the same time gently (or sometimes not-so-gently) pushing us back into the arms of Christ. Your encouragement means more than you know. I’m grateful to be walking this path of parenthood and faith alongside brave moms like you 🙏🏼
This is so beautiful, Kathy! I'm not a mother, but the ache for the freedom and joy of childhood is something I've been thinking about recently. Thank you for writing this!
Thank you so much Rachael! That longing for childlike freedom and joy feels so deeply innate. It’s amazing how God placed it in us to remind us of what (and who) we were made for. I’m glad it resonated with you!
Thank you for beautifully sharing from your heart, Kathy. I too have something ignited in me being a mother of girls now, that has just felt so different after I had boys.
It means a lot to know this resonated with you, Brianna! I’ve always longed for a daughter, but I’ll admit when I found out I was having one, I was overwhelmed with fear more than anything. I knew deep down the weight it would carry, the tender places it would stir in me, and the responsibility of shaping a little girl in this broken world would bring. Praise God she is already reminding me that beauty and bravery can coexist, and I’m trying to receive that gift with open hands 🤲🏼
Kathy what vulnerable words you share about motherhood and what is brings up in your heart. Your words have ministered deeply to my soul tonight, thank you.
That's a lovely, real and honest letter. I had a similar experience with my eldest daughter when she was about 3... And possibly all the way until she was 8! (But not constant - there were ups and downs.) One unexpected thing I found that helped was writing her letters too. I had a spare notebook, so I wrote little letters to her, with the idea that I would give her the book when she's 18. So obviously it's not completely open about my feelings, but I focused more on telling her what ways she was wonderful, and a blessing, and a gift from God to her family and our friends. It didn't fix it all, but it helped a lot.
At one point I remember really having to choose to actively love her - in the ways that are her love language but not mine: physical affection and words of affirmation. And that was like a switch - within a short time we were far closer than we'd ever been. But that's how God answered that prayer, so I can't say it's a formula!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with your daughter, Robyn! It brings me so much comfort to know that the “closeness” we long for with our children doesn’t always come naturally, and that’s okay. What a beautiful act of surrender to take those emotions to prayer and to the page. I can only imagine what a treasure that notebook will be to her one day and what a healing gift it’s already been to you both.
Your words about actively choosing to love her in the ways she receives it best really struck me. It’s such a powerful reminder that love often asks more of us than just emotion alone and I’m realizing that it’s a choice I have to make daily, too. Like you said, it’s not a formula, but a posture, and that posture of prayer really can work wonders. Thank you again for your wisdom and encouragement. It means more than you know!