I'm so glad you are on the path to recovery. You are very brave for sharing such. Some mental illness can be as a result of demonic possession but not all! Sometimes extreme life experiences inclusive of trauma/neglect/PTSD/Cptsd & just being incredibly sensitive & the brains neuron synapse connections can be damaged just as any other part of our bodies can, yet it can also be strengthened and restored in it's functioning. It saddens me that there is still so much stigma and shame that surrounds psychosis and mental illnesses, I do believe our Lord Jesus heals such and it can take time, and other people's kindness, patience, love compassion & time and understanding is also imperative in effectively helping. Praise God you were only in the throes of psychosis for 12 days! When you are strengthened in Heavenly father and in His power you will be able to go on to help others as you have learnt experience. I always think about the Gadarene man whom was delivered of demons, yet Jesus never shamed nor embarrassed him and never even blamed him, Jesus and his disciples met his needs they provided him with clean new clothes and yet Jesus forbid him to go with him, but instead commissioned him to go back to his family and share the wonderful things Jesus had done in his life for him. I don't know how long you have experienced episodes of psychosis, you state this was brought on due to having your beautiful baby? You can notice a pattern and stressful situations can exacerbate and bring them on. I have found really immersing myself in prayer and pleading the blood of Jesus over my mind and to ask to receive the mind of Christ Jesus and it's like a warfare against the mind to use Gods word and scripture against thoughts that are exalting themselves above the knowledge of Christ Jesus before they begin to escalate into the dimension of psychosis. Sleep is really important! Constant insomnia will cause hallucinations, and I mean not sleeping even a wink, not one second for over a week. It's very difficult when you have a baby who needs you to constantly feed & change them, and entertain them and just love them by spending time with them as a new born, and if you have other children on top of that. Then cooking, cleaning, doing laundry,hanging it to dry, gardening, getting supplies, looking after your husbands needs with no other outside help can be very stressful. Pouring your heart out to Heavenly father and asking for Him to help you can also be of great help. But yes despite and inspite of every precaution it can still happen. And Heavenly father knows you and loves you and knows exactly what you need. He is close to the broken hearted and He tenderly attends to your wounds dressing them with his and rescues you from the pit.
Thank you for your kind words Hephzibah. Everything you described hit the nail on the head. According to my psychiatrist it was the lack of sleep (I lost sleep for 48+ hours) plus the stress of caring for a new born and adjusting to the responsibilities of parenthood/doing it on my own that ultimately led to the psychosis. Whether or not other women in the behavioral center who dealt with schizophrenia, insomnia, psychosis, etc. could be demonic related I will never know. However as my pastor told me, it's not my job to know. It's my job to be faithful to His word and allow the blood of Jesus to wash over my emotional wounds. But you're absolutely right it is indeed spiritual warfare and I was grateful to have the helmet of salvation like it talks about in Ephesians 6 while in the pit. Sleep is *super* important. It's been my number one priority! I'm grateful to have a support system and a Savior who empathizes with my weakness even in my darkest of moments. Praise God and thank you for this encouragement. I'm well on my way to recovery!
I'm so glad to hear that!I have unfortunately had my share of psychosis before Christ and was given a stupid label of schizoaffective disorder, Jesus has done an incredible and tremendous amount of healing upon & within me, that I am no longer on any damaging pharmaceutical psych meds. I do believe some demonic oppression even possession was contracted due to having given legal rights to demons due to sinful choices I had made in my life and a combination of cptsd aggravated the propensity. I also have been able to volunteer my time to comfort & offer a listening ear to those who struggle with mental illness. I'm from the UK and wondering if you are able to explain to me the difference between a behavioural unit and a psychiatric hospital acute itu ward? There are also specialist postpartum psych mother and baby units though they are rare. In the UK there is no such thing as a behavioural unit as yet.
I’m so sorry to hear that’s been your experience. I will say the behavioral center that I went to is used synonymously with a psychiatric hospital — I believe they are one and the same. And yes I have heard of postpartum mother/baby units and very few are available throughout the states, unfortunately. But praise God He has given you healing despite going through psychosis before knowing Christ. It must have been frightening but Jesus is faithful.
There truly are no words for what you've gone through, Kathy. I resonate with the feeling of wanting to pen everything you've gone through, but certain seasons of suffering are too deep to explore with mere language. It's a foreign feeling as a writer, but it can also point us to reverance in the Lord, the One who intimately knows what it's like to enter the kind of suffering that goes beyond words.
You're right in saying you only need to write to express yourself and process what you're going through. You don't need to be distracted by what "productive" thing you can create of it. Being present right here, right now, is enough. Endlessly inspired by you!
Thank you for the beautiful sentiment Kayla. I'm truly savoring getting to sit in the Lord's presence and trust he sees me as I am, right where I am. And you're right, any "productive" thing to create out of it would be merely a distraction. The inspiration goes both ways!
Thank you for sharing your most vulnerable moments and thoughts with us. I know it’s not easy. Everything you’ve written has brought me to tears. I often marvel at the difficulty, confusion, and seeming unfairness that comes with simply being alive. And I often find myself entering different rooms, silently begging for mercy, understanding, and invisibility all at the same time. So I know that putting yourself out there, sharing yourself with the world, is no small feat. It’s an act of bravery and defiance. It IS self care, because your experiences are worthy of consideration. How precious you are, in the sight of God and all your loved ones around you. I love you so, so much. I thank our Father for you. It’s a long road ahead and I’ll be here for you every step of the way.
I'm so glad you are on the path to recovery. You are very brave for sharing such. Some mental illness can be as a result of demonic possession but not all! Sometimes extreme life experiences inclusive of trauma/neglect/PTSD/Cptsd & just being incredibly sensitive & the brains neuron synapse connections can be damaged just as any other part of our bodies can, yet it can also be strengthened and restored in it's functioning. It saddens me that there is still so much stigma and shame that surrounds psychosis and mental illnesses, I do believe our Lord Jesus heals such and it can take time, and other people's kindness, patience, love compassion & time and understanding is also imperative in effectively helping. Praise God you were only in the throes of psychosis for 12 days! When you are strengthened in Heavenly father and in His power you will be able to go on to help others as you have learnt experience. I always think about the Gadarene man whom was delivered of demons, yet Jesus never shamed nor embarrassed him and never even blamed him, Jesus and his disciples met his needs they provided him with clean new clothes and yet Jesus forbid him to go with him, but instead commissioned him to go back to his family and share the wonderful things Jesus had done in his life for him. I don't know how long you have experienced episodes of psychosis, you state this was brought on due to having your beautiful baby? You can notice a pattern and stressful situations can exacerbate and bring them on. I have found really immersing myself in prayer and pleading the blood of Jesus over my mind and to ask to receive the mind of Christ Jesus and it's like a warfare against the mind to use Gods word and scripture against thoughts that are exalting themselves above the knowledge of Christ Jesus before they begin to escalate into the dimension of psychosis. Sleep is really important! Constant insomnia will cause hallucinations, and I mean not sleeping even a wink, not one second for over a week. It's very difficult when you have a baby who needs you to constantly feed & change them, and entertain them and just love them by spending time with them as a new born, and if you have other children on top of that. Then cooking, cleaning, doing laundry,hanging it to dry, gardening, getting supplies, looking after your husbands needs with no other outside help can be very stressful. Pouring your heart out to Heavenly father and asking for Him to help you can also be of great help. But yes despite and inspite of every precaution it can still happen. And Heavenly father knows you and loves you and knows exactly what you need. He is close to the broken hearted and He tenderly attends to your wounds dressing them with his and rescues you from the pit.
Thank you for your kind words Hephzibah. Everything you described hit the nail on the head. According to my psychiatrist it was the lack of sleep (I lost sleep for 48+ hours) plus the stress of caring for a new born and adjusting to the responsibilities of parenthood/doing it on my own that ultimately led to the psychosis. Whether or not other women in the behavioral center who dealt with schizophrenia, insomnia, psychosis, etc. could be demonic related I will never know. However as my pastor told me, it's not my job to know. It's my job to be faithful to His word and allow the blood of Jesus to wash over my emotional wounds. But you're absolutely right it is indeed spiritual warfare and I was grateful to have the helmet of salvation like it talks about in Ephesians 6 while in the pit. Sleep is *super* important. It's been my number one priority! I'm grateful to have a support system and a Savior who empathizes with my weakness even in my darkest of moments. Praise God and thank you for this encouragement. I'm well on my way to recovery!
I'm so glad to hear that!I have unfortunately had my share of psychosis before Christ and was given a stupid label of schizoaffective disorder, Jesus has done an incredible and tremendous amount of healing upon & within me, that I am no longer on any damaging pharmaceutical psych meds. I do believe some demonic oppression even possession was contracted due to having given legal rights to demons due to sinful choices I had made in my life and a combination of cptsd aggravated the propensity. I also have been able to volunteer my time to comfort & offer a listening ear to those who struggle with mental illness. I'm from the UK and wondering if you are able to explain to me the difference between a behavioural unit and a psychiatric hospital acute itu ward? There are also specialist postpartum psych mother and baby units though they are rare. In the UK there is no such thing as a behavioural unit as yet.
I’m so sorry to hear that’s been your experience. I will say the behavioral center that I went to is used synonymously with a psychiatric hospital — I believe they are one and the same. And yes I have heard of postpartum mother/baby units and very few are available throughout the states, unfortunately. But praise God He has given you healing despite going through psychosis before knowing Christ. It must have been frightening but Jesus is faithful.
There truly are no words for what you've gone through, Kathy. I resonate with the feeling of wanting to pen everything you've gone through, but certain seasons of suffering are too deep to explore with mere language. It's a foreign feeling as a writer, but it can also point us to reverance in the Lord, the One who intimately knows what it's like to enter the kind of suffering that goes beyond words.
You're right in saying you only need to write to express yourself and process what you're going through. You don't need to be distracted by what "productive" thing you can create of it. Being present right here, right now, is enough. Endlessly inspired by you!
Thank you for the beautiful sentiment Kayla. I'm truly savoring getting to sit in the Lord's presence and trust he sees me as I am, right where I am. And you're right, any "productive" thing to create out of it would be merely a distraction. The inspiration goes both ways!
We overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony.
The only thing I can say after reading this is: keep writing.
Amen, that's good. Thank you friend, I will.
This is so powerful. Thank you for sharing this with us!!!!
I’m beyond touched that you even took the time to read through. My heart is full.
It was well worth it Kathy! You’re blessing people. We need to read your work and listen to your heart!
Thank you for sharing your most vulnerable moments and thoughts with us. I know it’s not easy. Everything you’ve written has brought me to tears. I often marvel at the difficulty, confusion, and seeming unfairness that comes with simply being alive. And I often find myself entering different rooms, silently begging for mercy, understanding, and invisibility all at the same time. So I know that putting yourself out there, sharing yourself with the world, is no small feat. It’s an act of bravery and defiance. It IS self care, because your experiences are worthy of consideration. How precious you are, in the sight of God and all your loved ones around you. I love you so, so much. I thank our Father for you. It’s a long road ahead and I’ll be here for you every step of the way.